Fog 'n Things

Tonight, with my Sunday night small group has been wonderful and inspiring. I have to face up with the truth and admit that spiritually things have clouded with a lot of doubt and confusion. In the last week or so I have had a few very meaningful conversations about Christ as well as some meaningful experiences with Christ.

A youth asked me what the point of Christ's coming was if we have such a loving God. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and MAKE her believe, but I knew that wasn't practical or sane so I sat back and thought for a few minutes. Then I began talking about the significance of the Bible as a whole historical story. The prophecies of Jesus and the old sacrificial practices. But why do we need a sacrifice at all? She asked. Then I thought of the peace child story about the violent tribes who gave over a son as a peace offering. I explained that the Bible is the story of God continually trying to win his people back and finally he sent his son, this peace offering. As if to say, "This is what I am willing to give up to be with you." That sort of made sense to her, although I'm sure it opened up a whole new can of worms. But it got me thinking of Christ in a whole new light. I began to really appreciate Christ and his teachings in a new way. Since then I have been reading my Bible with new understanding and a much more open and humble mind.

Navigating spiritually through life out of college has been a completely different experience for me. Once I was no longer a student I began to realize that life is not about me. In fact, it isn't about me at all, it's about me loving and serving other people. That's all life is about. For some reason that brought up doubts about God's love for me and my complete insignificance in life. Through that conversation about Christ, and in reading my Bible more carefully, my faith is being solidified once again.

I also had a small blip of a conversation with a close friend about Heaven. We were talking about perhaps going on safari in Heaven if we don't get a chance on earth. Then a thought hit me that jarred me out of our little dreamland. I said to my friend, "Why is it that whenever I think of Heaven it's in relation to what I want to do when really Heaven won't be about me at all. It will be all about praising God." My friend agreed saying that we won't even care about anything else, we'll just be so excited to be there. In God's presence. Awesome.

The other night, driving home, I found myself entrapped in a thick fog. I could barely see two feet in front of me so I kept my eyes on the white lines. Although I had driven that road countless times I could not recognize where I was. When I came to a bend in the road the fog lifted revealing a friendly, bright moonshine to guide me. Then, as quick as wink the fog would snuggle in tightly once more. This is like our lives. We can only see two feet in front of us, just enough to keep us going and to keep us trusting in God. When a bend in the road comes I see God's presence and work more brightly, holding my hand and guiding me. Right now, things are pretty foggy, but I sense a bend in the road coming, I am anticipating that moonshine.